"Jay, only a guy who gets out of the shower to take a piss would wear a shirt like that."

Former University of Utah basketball coach and current ESPN college basketball analyst Rick Majerus was/is a great basketball coach. Dean Smith thinks so, too. But that's not why I like him. I like him because he's a fat, funny motherfucker.

Here are some of my favorite quotes from him in recent years:

During the last minute of a 20-point blowout of Tennessee by Kentucky, Marjerus said of Kentucky’s celeb superfan Ashley Judd, “I hope I see [Judd] one more time so I won’t have to go back to the hotel to watch adult movies.”
[Heard on ESPN, 1/25/2005]

After Kentucky defeated Utah for the national title in 1998, Ashley Judd gave Utes coach Rick Majerus a hug, something he will never forget...
"She hugged me as a consolation because we lost," he said the other day. "I went to bed for two years with that as my sex life."
[St. Paul Pioneer Press, 03/24/2003]

On why the Utes don't have UCLA on the schedule ...
"They won't play us, so what can I do? There's three cheerleaders out there I'd like to take home tonight. All three would tell me no. They won't go. UCLA won't play."
[Salt Lake Tribune, 1/2/1999]

About a news article that said he was a candidate for the SDSU head coaching job ...
"I can be a candidate for anything I want. I'd like to be a candidate to date Cindy Crawford. Do you see that woman right there? She and I are candidates to be married. You're a candidate to get a haircut tomorrow."
[San Diego Union-Tribune 2/12/1999]

On wearing glasses on the court...
"I started wearing glasses last season but they're only for basketball games and dirty movies."
[Charlotte Observer 3/28/1998]

If he was to have a studio role with CBS in 2003, as he had in some past years...
"No. That Quin Snyder hairdo has overpowered me."
[Bob Wolfley, Milwaukee Journal/Sentinel, 4/2/2003]

To Jay Bilas, wearing a polo shirt rather than the traditional Hawaiian shirt while covering a tournament in Hawaii...
"Jay, only a guy who gets out of the shower to take a piss would wear a shirt like that."
[ESPN, 01/04/2005, Quoted on DukeBasketballReport.com]

About his exercise routine...
"I like to bike. I could beat Lance Armstrong, only because he couldn't pass me if he was behind me.
[USC Press Conference, 12/15/2004]

On winning the 1998 Playboy Magazine coach of the year ...
"I know I didn't get it because there's a bunch of Bunnies who couldn't wait to sit on my lap. . . . I didn't get it because the Bunnies think I look good."
[Milwaukee Journal/Sentinel, 7/25/1998]

For more Majerus quotes, go here.

Aluminum

"Aluminum"

Click on the link above and watch the video to the Mahjongg song. The video was made by former Mizzou student and (not-former) Mormon, Tyrone Davies.

In other news, it's 6:42 in the morning, and I miss being unemployed.

Welcome To The Working Week

I know. It's about fucking time.

I start my new job tomorrow in Harvey, IL, which is a ghettofabulous suburb south of Chicago. It's where Eddy Curry grew up.

The biggest challenge will be waking up early in the mornings, something I haven't done in quite some time. Thus, I am going to bed now. Later, bitches.