Wednesday, June 16, 2004

It's time, baby

(From The Onion)

Mugger Can't Believe Crap Victim Has On MP3 Player

BOSTON — Following the successful mugging of a jogger in Franklin Park, petty criminal Derek Mesker announced Monday that he cannot believe the shit he's found on his victim's Philips 20GB MP3 player. "3 Doors Down? Maroon 5!" Mesker said, scrolling through the songs. "The new Counting Crows?! Man, I'm glad I pistol-whipped that motherfuck." Mesker added that the first thing he did was toss the device's "gay-ass" teal neoprene case.

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This is your humble narrator's last entry from the great town of Carrboro in the great state of North Carolina. I've now lived in North Carolina a total of nine and a half years of my life, second only to the ten I lived in Missouri, and it's about time to leave for the second time. I've got one last thing to say to Chapel Hill-Carrboro (and I'm being sincere): I'll miss you, bitch.

Now it's time to pack up my computer.

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